18 Jun The Lessons of Relocation
It is official. My husband’s job title changed. This means we move.
Previously I have written about how the mindset you have about moving shapes the experience of it. You can read that here:
Here, I would like to get a little more specific. In sharing the news with friends, I have learned a few valuable lessons that you may find helpful if faced with a similar situation.
Turn Sadness into Action
I have to admit, I was a bit overwhelmed at sharing our family moving news with my inner circle. We have lived in our community for nearly ten years and have made many connections and friendships along the way. As I shared the news with my friend I have known the longest, the reality of moving truly hit me. As I sat there sniffling afterwards, my phone began to chirp. As I scrolled through the messages from her, she already was in action-mode. She asked about my price-point and preferred living areas and immediately started searching for homes that might work for my family. This helped me so much. It made me believe that I could find the right future home, but more importantly, it helped focus my attention on the positive. My friend also shared homes that would be ideal for her to visit. It made me remember friendships and connections do not have to end even if we live apart from one another. The connections that matter continue. Enough said.
Mine the Gold of Gratitude
In our day-to-day lives we can get so caught up in the tasks of living, we forget to appreciate life as it unfolds. It has been interesting to experience how people are responding to our move in such a heartfelt way. The prospect of us leaving has reminded everyone the ways we have impacted one another through the years. It has been a wake-up call to cultivate appreciation for others in the now instead of realizing it too late. Time and relationships are precious and we should treat them as such.
Cut Everyone Some Slack
One of the best gifts you can give a friend that has begun the moving process is the permission to slow down communication. When one of my long-time friends expressed she would understand if she did not hear from me regularly, it was a small weight lifted off my shoulders. It felt so nice to be acknowledged that my possible lapse in communication was no reflection on what her friendship means to me.
Beware of Resistance to Change
While my family is up for the adventure of this new life chapter, it does not mean that we do not, on occasion, succumb to stress. Mine shows up as viscerally disliking all the homes I see online. It was not until my husband pointed out that many of these homes were quite nice, and maybe, my dislike had more to do with my sadness of leaving a home that I love. Point taken. However, I am still slow to warm up when it comes to viewing potential homes but I am going to push myself to stay more open-minded. Overall my boys are handling everything well with a positive attitude. It helps they do not have to worry about the many logistics of moving. Therefore, they are staying grounded in the present. For now, it seems to be working for them so I am trying to learn from their example.
Moving changes everything. Thankfully, family and friends are the a constant that can steady us through each and every transformation.
Written by Diana DeVaul, MSW and Parent