In the third part of this series, we’re focusing on ourselves for a change. As parents, so much of who we are and what we do revolves around raising our kids. So, when they start leaving the nest, it can feel a little unsettling at first. But this shift also brings a chance for personal growth and new discoveries. By prioritizing meaningful friendships, staying close to family, and being open to fresh possibilities, we can approach this change with purpose and confidence.
Cultivating Meaningful Connections in This New Chapter
As you step into this next phase of life, consider how your social connections can support your growth. Whether you’re strengthening existing friendships or seeking new ones, be intentional about the company you keep. You’ve invested years into raising your children—now is the time to surround yourself with relationships that uplift and support you.
Seek out those who have successfully gone through this transition and learn from their experience. At the same time, honor your own unique journey. Everyone adjusts to an empty nest differently—some embrace the change with ease, while others struggle to find their footing. No matter where you fall on that spectrum, your feelings are valid. Find people who respect your process, whether they share your perspective or not. The goal isn’t to compare experiences but to cultivate connections that bring you peace of mind.
Redirecting Your Energy with Purpose
For me, one of the greatest silver linings of sending my oldest to college has been this bonus time with my youngest. These past two years have given my husband and me the chance to focus on him in a way that wasn’t always possible before. He’s still the same quiet, introspective person he was before his brother left, but sharing this season with him has been a gift. And while I know another transition is on the horizon, I’m grateful for the opportunity to be fully present with him before he, too, begins his next chapter.
Just like this time has helped me grow closer to my youngest, it can also be a chance to reconnect with a partner, if you have one. When so much of our time is spent on parenting, it’s easy for other relationships to take a backseat. Now could be the perfect moment to rediscover things you both enjoy, create new memories together, or simply have more uninterrupted conversations. If a romantic relationship isn’t on your radar right now, this time can also be about strengthening other important bonds—with family, friends, or even yourself. Whatever this stage looks like for you, it’s a great opportunity to be mindful of where you’re putting your time and energy, and to build a life that feels fulfilling and true to you.
Evaluate the Whole Picture
When we’re in the middle of big changes, it can feel like everything is taking forever to settle. In those moments, stepping back and looking at the bigger picture can really help put things into perspective.
A few weeks after my oldest started college, my elderly father passed away unexpectedly. It felt like everything beneath me crumbled. Grieving such a huge loss while trying to adjust to my son’s transition made it hard to fully move forward.
Change doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Many of us are pulled in so many different directions, juggling responsibilities and trying to take care of our emotional well-being too. Now, as my son is finishing his second year, I can see how time and being kind to myself have helped me heal. Giving myself space, without judgment, made all the difference. Please remember to give yourself the same kind of kindness.
Embracing New Beginnings
Two years before my oldest graduated, I made a dedicated effort to write more and build a mindful, self-compassionate community. I loved the process and met many wonderful people, but over time, I realized it wasn’t the right path—at least not for now. That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on finding my “next thing.” And I haven’t.
After years away from a formal career, I tracked down my transcripts, compiled my résumé, and applied to a master’s program in biology, focusing on animal ecology and conservation. To my surprise—I got accepted! I don’t know exactly where this path will lead, but like my boys stepping into the world, I, too, have new chapters to write.
The truth is, not every path we take will lead where we think it will. Some will turn out to be dead ends, while others will open up exciting new possibilities. So, as you step into this next chapter of life, give yourself the freedom to explore, change direction if you need to, and embrace whatever comes your way.
Looking Ahead: Supporting Your College Student Through Challenges
As parents, we spend so many years guiding our kids, but as they step into adulthood, our role starts to change. The transition to college can be tough, and while we can’t walk their path for them, we can be there by their side—offering support, encouragement, and a steady presence when they need it most.
In the final part of this series, we’ll dive into how to support your college-aged child when they’re struggling. Whether it’s academic challenges or social adjustments, we’ll talk about practical ways to be there for them while helping them build their independence. This phase of parenting is about giving them the space to grow, while reminding them that they’re never alone.
Written by Diana DeVaul, MSW
If you’re considering starting therapy and would like to explore services with us at Riverview Counseling Services, our wonderful intake coordinator is here to help. You can reach them at (630) 587-3777, Extension: 102. They’ll be more than happy to explain the process and work with you to find a therapist who meets your, or your child’s, specific needs. Taking the first step toward support can make all the difference, and we’re here to guide you through it.
