College is often painted as an exciting adventure, but for many students, it can feel overwhelming—whether it’s the coursework, making new friends, or just managing all the emotions that come with such a big change. As parents, our instinct is to jump in and fix things, to help smooth over the rough patches and make everything easier for them. But this stage of parenting requires a different approach. It’s about finding the balance between supporting them and giving them the space they need to figure things out on their own. Our role shifts from being the problem-solver to becoming a steady, reassuring presence in their lives.
So, how can we be there for our kids while still encouraging their independence? Here are some practical and compassionate ways to support your child during this time:
Keep the Lines of Communication Open – Let your child know they can come to you without worrying about being judged. Rather than jumping straight to solutions, just listen and show understanding. Sometimes, all they need is a safe space to vent, and that alone can make a world of difference.
Encourage Small, Manageable Steps – When everything feels overwhelming, help your child break things down into smaller, doable tasks. Whether it’s reaching out to a professor, going to a campus event, or getting academic support, small wins can help them feel more in control and build their confidence.
Promote Campus Resources – Colleges have tons of support services like tutoring, mental health counseling, career advising, and student groups. Encourage your child to check these out and remind them that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Assess Academic Challenges – If the coursework is tough, suggest options like joining a study group, using time management tips, or meeting with professors during office hours. They might also want to adjust their course load or look into accommodations if needed.
Check In on Mental Health – College can take a toll on mental well-being. Encourage your child to practice self-care and be aware of any signs they might need more support. If you’re concerned, gently suggest they talk to a campus counselor or mental health professional.
Balance Support with Independence – Be there when they need you, but also encourage them to solve problems on their own. Let them know they’re capable of handling challenges but that they don’t have to do it alone. Growth happens when they face struggles and build resilience.
Utilize Campus Parent Social Media Groups—But with Caution – It’s tempting to lean on parent social media groups for advice, especially around big events like move-in day or the start of classes. While these groups can be helpful, be careful. Sometimes the advice can be confusing or cause more stress than it’s worth. Use these groups as a starting point, but trust your instincts—no one knows your child like you do.
As parents, it’s tough to see our kids struggle. While we want them to build resilience, we also need to recognize when it’s time to consider a change. This should be a last resort, after exploring all options and giving them time to adjust. If their well-being or happiness continues to suffer, it might be time to think about other options.
Discuss Alternative Paths – If your child is feeling overwhelmed, disengaged, or just not thriving, it might be time to explore different paths. Taking a gap semester, transferring schools, or exploring a new career path can sometimes be the best decision. These choices aren’t about giving up—they’re about finding what works best for them. Keep the conversation open about what’s going well and what’s not, and remind them that success looks different for everyone.
While we can’t shield our kids from every challenge, we can remind them that they’re strong, capable, and never alone. By doing this, we give them the confidence to take on not just college—but life itself.
As we close out this series, it’s clear that parenting a college-aged kid is a time of growth and change—for both them and us. We’ve learned that staying connected while giving them room to grow is key. At the same time, we’re learning to embrace this empty nest phase and the new opportunities it brings for us too.
It’s not always an easy ride, but it’s about being there for each other through the ups and downs. Whether your child is adjusting well or struggling a bit, remember to be patient, offer support, and celebrate the growth happening for both you and your child.
Thanks for being with me throughout this series. Wishing you and your family all the best as you embrace this new phase together.
Written by Diana DeVaul, MSW
If you’re considering starting therapy and would like to explore services with us at Riverview Counseling Services, our wonderful intake coordinator is here to help. You can reach them at (630) 587-3777, Extension: 102. They’ll be more than happy to explain the process and work with you to find a therapist who meets your, or your child’s, specific needs. Taking the first step toward support can make all the difference, and we’re here to guide you through it.
